019 - Urinal Confessions and Soft War
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THIS EPISODE ALSO BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
The Fifty-Fifty! (horrifying details below)
STUFF FROM THIS EPISODE:
NASCAR
Apple
Samsung Note
THE FIFTY-FIFTY DETAILS:
The Fifty-Fifty is literally the ninth worst thing you can do on the Internet. It's a terrible game that we regret inventing, and would encourage you to avoid. The Fifty-Fifty is nothing more than a deplorable, ill-conceived, manipulative gimmick designed to channel unwitting participants toward financially supporting this program.
Great! Here's how to play! Simply go to the5050.com or thefiftyfifty.com, and click on one of the two boxes. If you choose the correct box, you'll get to watch a spectacular, uplifting video from the world wide web. If you choose the incorrect box, you'll have to watch a troubling video that's likely to have a negative impact on your view of yourself and others. Regrettably, at the end of either video, you'll be directed to the No Dumb Questions Patreon page where you'll be morally obligated to support the program.
AGAIN, WE CANNOT STRESS STRONGLY ENOUGH HOW MUCH THE REWARD OF PLAYING THIS GAME IS GROSSLY OUTWEIGHED BY THE RISK! We both look forward to the day when everyone forgets that the Fifty-Fifty (available at the5050.com or thefiftyfifty.com) ever existed, and it passes into the abyss of the forgotten realm where it can never harm anyone again. But until that day please be advised of the following conditions.
1. The Fifty-Fifty is binding in every way. If you choose to play you have entered into a dark pact; that is to say a blood-oath covenant forged in an irrevocable partnership with the very notions of truth and integrity to support this podcast on Patreon (accessible at patreon.com/nodumbquestions). Once you've chosen, of your own free will, under no coercion, and with metaphorical eyes wide open, to go down this path there is no return. We hate that about this game and apologize. Whether you enjoy the winner's video or dab the blood from your eye balls while you suffer through the loser's video, the obligation you've saddled yourself with remains the same. If you play and violate this most sacred of vows, we will know.
2. The fifty-fifty cannot be manipulated. There's literally no way to cheat at this game. And if you try we will know.
3. All participants are required to watch whatever video they end up with IN ITS ENTIRETY with COMPLETE AND UNCOMPROMISED mental focus. If you try to allow your mind to wander so as to reduce scarring on your soul we will know.
There's literally no advantage to anyone to play the Fifty-Fifty, and that's why we so highly discourage it. For those of you who were hoping for a good game we recommend Four Square. Unlike the Fifty-Fifty it's a game of cunning and athleticism with clear rules and objectives. We recommend playing with a regulation 8.5 inch ball outdoors on a windless day in accordance with the official rules available at squarefour.org.
Thank you.
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